Reminisce.

I hate that I've lost touch with some really important people in my life. My two best friends from last year Esther and Ian I talk to once every few months. And last year we spend EVERY SINGLE DAY together. I have my best friend now Erin, and I love her to pieces. She keeps me sane. And I'm not saying that I dont appreciate the friends that I have now, I just really miss some of my old friends.
Some of my best friends for years were in choir with me, and it is a very odd situation to not have that choir anymore, and its even weirder to have lost contact with all of these amazing people.

I miss my friend Fahim. Who was really my big brother. He taught me so much, in a loving, -I'm not judging you, but really just want to help you- kind of way. I miss going for milkshakes and talking about the world, and playing crib, and watching
stupid movies.

I miss my other big brother Keith. He and fahim were generally one unit, that would always hang out with me, together, and we would laugh about nothing for hours. And Keith and I would sit and talk, or jam while he played trombone (HAHA).

I miss my big sister Jessica. Who I could talk to about anything. I miss her advice, and her admitting she had no advice, but plenty of hugs and icecream. I miss watching house, and silly french movies.

I miss steve. Who talks to my mom now, and I havent heard a word from him in months. And that really bothers me. I know she's still sick, and needs encouragement and friends, but a single hello, how are you handling things would have been nice.

Kokopelli was FULL of my older siblings, and anyone I could talk to for hours, about nothing and just enjoy the company, or talk about incredibly important things.

I have a few quite close friends now, but I also miss feeling like I have a place somewhere other than home. I dont want to go back to choir now, because its an entirely new group of people, and I dont know them. Its not the people I knew and loved. I really just want to sit here, and reminisce about how great last year.


AND I WAS THE BITCH WHO TOOK IT FOR GRANTED UNTIL IT WAS FAR TOO LATE.