thanks.

I have had an incredibly emotional week. I am the first to admit that I'm a bit bipolar.
I dont know how to explain depression. Or how it makes me feel. Or why certain periods of time are just worse than others. Even with the same meds, the same activities. It just changes. I had a week where I hated everything. It happens to me. I was so angry, and so sad. Mostly I was lonely. Which is a really awful feeling.
Loneliness.
I feel like the worst human being for feeling lonely. When I have so many amazing people in my life. My family, my friends, and my unconditional loving dog nog.
This week was full of loneliness. And self pity. And I am a walking contradiction.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE self pity. I have so much in my life. HOW DARE I FEEL SAD AND FEEL SELF PITY. Yet, it happened. I would feel happy for a few hours, and then fall back into these awful feelings. And snuggle Nog by the fire, and cry.
I have so many people in my life, who mean the world to me. I just want to write about a few here. They might not hear it all the time, or know just how important they are in my life. But they will now. Following this post will be gratitude notes to some important people in my life.