Sometimes, I'm afraid to say how i really feel. So I come to my blog, and I write it here. Only a few people know about this blog, and I feel safe here.
I'm terrified of graduating. I'm terrified of losing the friends i have. And I know what everyone says. "If they are important friends, you will find a way to stay in touch." But that's not the reality. Sometimes, I have really important friends and sometimes we lose touch. And I hate that. i hate that we will catch up once or twice, talk about what is going on our lives now, and leave the coffee house, and see each other again in 6 months.
Some of my friends are moving far away for school. I know they are only an email away. But they aren't down the hall, in the school that feels so big, but is a very small place comparatively.
And most of my other friends, I am leaving behind. I'm the one graduating, and they are all left behind. I have made some incredible friends this year, that have helped me through alot.
I'm tired of the stupid drama, and the silly boys. I'm tired of highschool drama, and crappy cafeteria food. I'm tired of finding that the stall I'm in has no toilet paper, or the bathroom has no soap at all. I'm tired of walking through hallways with no floor or ceiling tiles, and missing walls. I'm sick of moving classrooms for construction, and cranky librarians. And I'm especially sick of the cat ears, and tails.
I'm tired of these things. But they add character. These things make up the place I call my second home. I have spent 6 years here. There are dancers in the hallways, and a piano in the main lobby. This place is filled with love and passion for the arts. I love walking through the hallways.
I'm terrified of growing up. Things are complicated, and convoluted.
Nothing Lasts for ever.
About Me
- katibug
- I am Katelyn. Or kati. Or whatever you feel like calling me. I like to chew pen lids, and visit Ikea. I go to school for my friends, for my classes, and then to go home and nap. Its truly and art form. I have a wall,a bubble, or whatever you want to call it. The thing I have to keep people out. I have people I let in, but takes a while. People that want to wait long enough, and put enough effort in, I let them in. I'm loud, I laugh but I like the quite solitude sometimes. I like your mom. Your grandmother's prettu wicked too.
2 comments:
Katelyn! I check this occassionaly. Generally when I am like hey I miss Kati moods because we haven't talked for a while. I'm glad you let me in on this and I'm sorry I don't comment more or just let you know that I'm here. It always interests me to hear what your saying because often its the stuff everybody is feeling or has felt but is too afraid to admit. I admire your honesty and bravery. It sucks moving forward. I know. I've felt that way this whole year. But it seems to me the good friends don't really go away. Its usually just a small group a people that stick with you but they are the ones that are worth it and the other people while awesome, do get exchanged and I think thats part of life. Certain people are only meant to be there for certain phases. Its scary moving on but its also exciting and important to not let yourself get stuck. High School seems so small for you. You always seemed so much older to me. And you are going to be kicking awesome in the real world!
You will leave and grow up and move on to better things.. and it's okay to be scared.. everyone is. You will lose some great friends.. but the ones you will meet on your new adventures will be exactly what you want. Love you woman.
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