Change..Moving on?

So tonight, choir started again. And I wasn't there.
I feel awkward, and sad and weird. And nothing good.
I don't like the idea of having a zillion kids from my school there.
Choir was my thing, away from school, with all MY friends. And to have to share would have been weird. But not as weird as not being there at all.
I miss everything.
I dont have friends like that at school. I have a few very good friends, but no big sisters or brothers anymore. I am the old one at school, the 'seniors'. Its nice, but I miss the graduates, I miss what was.
School has changed, There is no choir, and this is all super weird.
Change isn't good.